Have you surrendered?

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Now that Rob is back from deployment, we are church hunting again. It’s always a challenging process, but this past Sunday we visited a church for the 2nd time and so far we really like it. Whether or not we’ll choose to become members there still remains to be seen, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that God spoke to me personally through that church on Sunday.

We sang an old hymn that I grew up singing and love dearly called “I Surrender All.” I couldn’t help but giggle with joy a bit when I heard the first few words because it was like God had sent me a special gift that morning in care of the church, delivered straight to me through the music leader.

I surrender all. That is God’s theme for me this year as I learn (and re-learn) how to truly surrender it ALL to Him. My cares, my worries, my dreams, my desires, my husband, my daughter….ALL of it.

My favorite verse in this song is this:

“All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.”

Am I living in His presence daily? Every day? When I am, I know it’s easier to surrender to Him. When I make myself get out of bed to have that quiet time with the Lord before starting my day; When I stop and pray during the day not only when I need help, but also just to praise Him for his glory – the closer I am to Him, the easier it is to trust Him (and his plans for me) completely.

Our lives are often busy and carving out time for “quiet time” can be challenging as military wives and moms, but it’s so important to find that time somewhere. God is good and so very gracious! He wants to hear from us. Talk to Him while you drive, while you are doing the dishes or laundry, in the bathroom, or even in the shower. Seem weird? Well, God made you – He already knows what you look like naked! One of my greatest spiritual mentors has her quiet time every night in the bathtub.

He also wants to speak to us through His Word. Get an audio version and listen to it when you are in the car. Leave your Bible open on the kitchen counter and read it a little at a time throughout the day. I know a lady that keeps a Bible in the bathroom to read because it’s the only place she can get a little privacy with her kids running around. Do what you can, but make time for it!

What if you mess up? What if you just didn’t make the time today? The last few days? Then give yourself a break, remember God’s grace, and try again tomorrow.  He loves you and desires to communicate with you.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lam 3:22-23)

I Surrender All…Again

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Why is it sometimes so hard to turn my troubles over to God permanently?  He loves me more than anyone else, yet I find myself trying over and over to take back control of things I’ve turned over to Him.  I find myself feeling heartache and pain over something that I previously surrendered to God (more than once!).  I don’t understand His plan, so I try to create one of my own – hoping that my desires will become His will.  Instead, I should be praying that His will becomes my desire.

Isaiah 55:8-9 says,

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I know we all have something that we struggle to understand.  Something in our lives that we need to completely and totally surrender to the Lord.

For me, it’s dealing with my infertility and inability to have another child. My infertility is not a temporary condition.  I dealt directly & actively with it for 3 years after our miracle daughter was born, waiting and hoping and wondering month after month after month.  Almost 5 years ago it then became permanent when I had to have a complete hysterectomy due to a lot of complications brewing inside me, leaving me with no chance of another miracle baby in my tummy.

I can’t tell you how often I go down the “what if” path.  How often I think, “What if I had just waited a little longer for God to perform another miracle?”…“If I hadn’t given in to the pain…if I had endured longer…would I have gotten pregnant again?”

By the way, that “what if” path was completely designed by Satan.  It is a tool he uses to make us stop trusting God. When I’m feeling down and heartbroken about not being able to have another baby – the devil wants me to feel like it’s my fault.  He tells me I was weak and I didn’t wait long enough.  He wants me to think there is something I could have done about it.  He tells me I’m alone.

The TRUTH is – God is in control.  The surgery turned out to be a huge blessing in our lives and in addition to some other things I won’t go into here – it saved me from a dangerous cancer that we hadn’t known was in the early stages.  The TRUTH is that God always has a bigger plan than the one we can see.  He knows what’s around the corner and if I will let him lead, he will keep me on the path he has prepared for me.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

A couple years ago, God placed another baby in our lives as a foster baby.  We brought him home from the hospital and raised him for 10 months – being told the whole time by the “powers that be” that we would almost certainly get to adopt him.

We didn’t.  He ended up being adopted by another family rather than returned to his birth mother.

It hurts.  Over a year later it still hurts.

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” (Ps 27:13-14)

I have to admit, this past year or so has been rough.  I have 6 people super close to me that have either had a baby this past year, or are pregnant and will be having one soon.  That doesn’t even count all the people that I’ve barely met or seen with adorable baby bellies or new babies.  Don’t get me wrong –  I am crazy excited for them! I really am.  I’m just also jealous and trying really hard not to be.  It’s even worse when I hear some women complain about how easy they get pregnant or how they can’t stand the thought of having more kids, yet they get pregnant with little effort.  I want to scream, “Fine! Give them to me!”.  But that’s not God’s plan, and I don’t have to understand it. He still doesn’t want me to be jealous.  It’s even one of the 10 Commandments!

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” (Ex 20:17)

That includes babies.

Once again God is showing me that I can’t control this – even the timing is HIS.

Fine.  So, I surrender it again.  My goals.  My dreams.  My desires.  I submit myself to HIS will and pray that he would align my desires with His will and not the other way around.  I truly want to feel content and to trust in His plans.  I also want my deepest longing to be for HIM. That’s really what He wants too, isn’t it?

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jer 29:11-13)

Ok, so I surrendered! What next?  Well, just as I think I’ve “got it” and have surrendered it all over to God, I get news that a good friend of mine is expecting.

Lord, this is a test…isn’t it?

I’m supposed to be THRILLED for her.  I AM thrilled for her, but I also had to pray for God to take the jealousy away from my heart and to fill me with contentment again.

Amazing how God works, isn’t it?  Every time I think I’ve surrendered, He tests me again.  Every time He reveals that I’m still trying to hold on to control.  How many more times will it take before I finally LET GO and LET GOD have it?

I don’t know what God’s plan is for our family.  No matter what, I pray that I will surrender my will and my desires so that God can truly use me as His tool for the work He has planned for me to do.

Our 10th Wedding Anniversary

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Today Hubby and I celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss! An entire decade! Just 4 more decades to go till our Golden Anniversary! As I look back over the years, I am truly amazed at God’s glory.  We have been through some TOUGH times in our 10 years together, some really tough times.  Yet as I look back at our journey, it is so obvious that God was with us every step of the way.

Sometimes I just sit in awe as I look back at all we’ve gone through.

The year before we got married was actually one of the hardest.  6 months before our wedding my dad passed away.  The same day, Hubby’s grandfather had a life-altering stroke.  We literally drove from the funeral home after my dad’s funeral to the hospital to see his grandfather.  It was a very hard day.  That year we also dealt with months of unemployment due to companies shutting down, 9-11, and my aunt died a month before the wedding.

Needless to say, we were ready to say goodbye to 2001, and hello to 2002!

The trials didn’t stop though.  We went through much more in the past 10 years.

More death of family. Divorces of both family & friends. Illnesses. Unemployment. Major surgery. Infertility. Building a house. A miracle baby! A child with special needs.  Serious financial struggles. Lots of Ramen & beans. More major surgery. Early Menopause (& a very patient hubby!). Foster Parenting.  Adoption promises broken.  A car totaled.  Being separated for 4 months while Hubby worked in another country.  More unemployment.  New jobs. New dreams. Lost dreams. Hearing a huge, crazy call from the Lord – and answering it.  Becoming a military family.  Deployment.

I know many couples whose marriage has ended after dealing with just one of the things we’ve experienced, yet not once has our marriage been threatened (just our sanity!).  Not once have we ever discussed divorce, or even fought hard enough to consider it.  There has been no infidelity of any sort, and I can honestly say that I have not once been tempted in that area.

This is not our own doing!  I am human.  I am weak.  I am sinful.  I do not boast of my own strength, but of the amazing strength of Jesus Christ! I shudder to think about where we would be if Hubby and I had not been leaning on the Lord for the duration of our marriage.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Cor 12:9)

Right after we got married, we started attending a Sunday School class at our church.  The name of the class was called “3 Strands Woven”.  That class was a true God-send in many ways.  We made friends in that class that are to this day some of our dearest and closest friends.  Men who have walked with my husband through our life, strengthening his faith and encouraging him as he leads our family.  Women who have helped me to grow as a wife, a mom, a disciple of Christ and a leader of women.

The theme of the class was modeled after a verse in the book of Ecclesiastes.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecc 4:12)

God is that 3rd strand in our marriage and we have made that a priority since the day we said our vows.  He is the one that holds us together.  Some days we are in a circle, each holding each others’ hands.  Other days, God has me in one hand and Hubby in the other just holding on to us and keeping us from falling until we can reach each other again.

It hasn’t all been easy, but I wouldn’t trade a single moment of it for anything.  We’ve learned a lot along the way, we have grown as individuals and as a couple through each and every trial and celebration that we’ve been through.  When those hard times come – and they will – you can choose to let them tear you down or you can let them refine you into something stronger.  Even pure silver first has to go through the fire in order to remove the impurities, but it’s so worth it!

Just look at how far we’ve come!

I am so blessed to be walking through this journey of life hand in hand with my best friend & the love of my life!  Where will we go from here? Only God knows.  We can only say, “Here we are, Lord!”.

He’s home!

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So I had this post ready to post yesterday, but got busy and forgot to post it   You’ll understand why.

Aug. 31, 2010 – Rob was sworn into the Army (again), and left to begin his training as a “prior service” soldier first going to WTC (Warrior Transition Course), and then to AIT (Advanced Individual Training).

He was gone for 5 months. I saw him for a couple weekends during that time.

January 28, 2011 – We moved our family to Fort Bragg, NC

February, 2011 – We spent the month together! Hubby worked ‘normal’ hours.

March 1, 2011 – Hubby left to attend pre-deployment training at JRTC for one month.

April, 2011 – We spent the month together! Hubby worked for 2 weeks, and was off for 2 weeks.

May 17, 2011 – Hubby left for his deployment to Iraq

TODAY – December 22, 2011 (also the 11th anniversary of the day he proposed to me!)……

after being apart for 14 out of 16 months…

after 222 days of living over 6400 miles apart……

MY HUSBAND IS HOME!!!!!

All I want for Christmas is my Hubby

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All I want for Christmas is my Hubby!

The U.S. troops have exited Iraq and crossed into Kuwait.  It’s awesome to watch the news video and see that gate close.  The next step is HOME!  I am so ready for my husband to be home again.  Today marks the 219th day since I have seen him, and the closer we get to him being home, the harder it is to wait! I had prepared myself for a much longer deployment as we were originally told, but ever since President Obama announced that they are coming home “by the end of the year” – I have been on pins and needles!

Every time the song “All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth” comes on, Emily sings,

“All I want for Christmas is my Daddy!” with a huge smile on her face!  She is just giddy with excitement, as am I!

Tonight I told her that the only present I want for Christmas is Daddy, and she replied “That’s one present you can’t unwrap!”. 

I had to laugh!  Oh, the joys she will one day learn about marriage!

In the meantime, we are keeping busy as we count down the days till his arrival. 

Clean house – check.

Welcome home sign made – check.

Laundry done – check.

Groceries purchased for his favorite meal – check.

Clean house again because we’ve lived since the first time – well, not quite ready to check that off, but we are getting there.

Troops in Iraq are coming home!

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I am so excited!! This deployment that was supposed to last until May, will be over soon! According to the President, the troops that are in Iraq will be home by the end of the year.  President Obama even said they “will definitely be home for the holidays”.  Of course, I don’t know if he means Christmas or the New Year, but either way his promise means nothing to me until my husband is sitting next to me on our loveseat in our living room.  I know that it’s the Army, and things can always change, but even if they don’t make it before the holidays…

MY HUSBAND IS COMING HOME!!

There is a lot of preparation going on.  The troops are getting instructions on reintegrating back with their families.  Some like to say it’s the “what to do (or not do) if you go home and your wife has spent all your money” talk.  It’s sad that those type of talks are even necessary, but unfortunately they are.

The FRG has also been getting things ready for the single soldiers’ barracks – collecting bedding, toiletries and snacks, so they can come home to a room that isn’t just cold and empty.  One thing I never realized before we started this deployment and Hubby explained it to me is that the single soldiers have to move out of the barracks before they deploy.  All of their belongings are put into storage until they return.  That means that when they get back, they are assigned a room, but they don’t have any of their things until they get to their storage.  We don’t want them to come home like that, so we are making sure they have sheets, a blanket, pillow, snacks and basic toiletries in their rooms.  It’s the least we can do!

Then there are the welcome home signs to make, the outfits to plan, and the food to cook.  Hubby is looking forward to my meatloaf and mashed potatoes so I’ve assured him I will have the supplies on hand, or it already made when he gets home.

We as spouses have even had meetings on what to expect when our soldier returns.  We’ve been instructed to make sure we are communicating with our spouse about our expectations – with the kids, with chores, and with intimacy.  As one experienced wife put it, we need to know whether he is expecting things to be like a microwave or a crock-pot that first night. I thought that was a great analogy!

Thankfully, Hubby and I have been doing a lot of communicating.  It’s something we’ve always been pretty good at, so we’ve been asking each other questions about expectations and sharing with each other what we are looking forward to.  We need to be on the same page so that unmet (and unspoken) expectations don’t cause friction, and I think we are right there together!  Such a great feeling!

It’s funny because when I thought he was coming home in May, I had myself all prepared for that we were in a routine so it didn’t bother me.  Now that I know they are coming home, it just can’t get here fast enough!  It’s harder knowing it’s so close, but still so far.

For operational security reasons, I won’t be giving any specifics on here as to his return even once I know something (which I don’t yet!).  All I can tell you is what the media has already released, like I mentioned above.  Don’t worry though, I will let you know as soon as I can once his boots are on the ground here at home!

A different Thanksgiving

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Why is it so much easier to give others a break, to cut them some slack, to extend grace to them – but it’s so hard to do it for yourself?

I have been fighting a chest cold for the past week and it is wearing me out.  I absolutely despise coughing! It hurts, it’s annoying, and it always seems to be at its worst when I’m trying to sleep or talk on the phone.  My energy is a fraction of what it usually is because my body is so busy fighting off the bad guy germs while running on missed sleep, so I haven’t been able to do many of the things that I had in mind to make this Thanksgiving special.

Without Rob home this year, I wanted to work extra hard to make this a special holiday for myself and Emily.  I had plans for Thanksgiving homeschool lessons, fun turkey crafts, days of baking, lots of yummy food and sharing the holiday with friends.

Unfortunately, I haven’t felt well enough for any of that.  We are behind on the school lessons we were working on, we haven’t done the crafts I had planned, I haven’t made a single pie, and we ended up making the decision to stay home on Thanksgiving instead of going to join friends.

Why do I feel so bad about that?  Why do I feel like I’ve somehow failed as a mommy or a homeschool teacher because I didn’t get it all in?

Maybe I just feel bad because I’m sick and that always makes me emotional. I’m know I’m also really missing Hubby as this is our first Thanksgiving apart, and the closer we get to him coming home the more I seem to miss him!!

I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t have to be SuperMom! Emily and I are actually really looking forward to the Thanksgiving Day we have planned, so I just need to let that be “enough”. 

Here is our new low-key plan for Thanksgiving 2011:

* Get up and watch the Macy’s Day Parade in our PJs

* Do Thanksgiving crafts

* Cuddle up on the sofa and read lots of books

* Eat homemade chicken nuggets, french fries and mashed sweet potatoes (Emily’s requested menu) – why not?

* Start decorating for Christmas

* Watch Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving

The day after Thanksgiving while all the Black Friday shoppers are rushing around the stores, we are going to head to the movie theater for the new Muppets movie!  We’ll also spend some time baking and working on a puzzle.

She doesn’t care that we aren’t having turkey, cranberry sauce, & stuffing.  In fact, SHE picked the menu for tomorrow, so I know she’ll love it!  Besides, we’ll have those foods again at Christmas!

So what if we didn’t get in a particular homeschool lesson about Thanksgiving? We’ve put a lot of effort into a Thanksgiving Journal over the last few weeks, and we have a stack of Thanksgiving books to read while cuddled on the sofa.

I’m torn. As I see all of my friends posting about preparing the Thanksgiving meal, preparing the turkeys and all the fixins – part of me is sad that I don’t have my husband here so we could be enjoying all of that cooking and craziness together.  The other side of me is feeling very relieved that this year, I just get to sit back and take it easy.

I always tell Emily, “Your best is always good enough for me”.  This year, my best needs to be enough for me too.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Cor 12:9

The good, the bad and the ugly of Army life

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It’s been a while since I’ve written about how life in the Army is going for us.  I honestly can’t believe so much time has gone by already.  We’ve now been an Army family for over a year – about a year and 2 months.  I’ve been completely shocked by some things while totally unfazed by others.  Let me share just a little bit of it all with you!

The GOOD:

* Army wives are so much more friendly and welcoming than I could have ever imagined.  They truly all know what it’s like to be the “new girl” and they are willing to reach out to help you, invite you over for coffee, and let you into their friendship circles right away.  They don’t care about your age, just your attitude.  I was worried about coming in and being so much older than many of the wives, but it hasn’t been an issue even once.  Even though some of my new friends are almost half my age, it doesn’t matter because we are in similar seasons of life and that is what helped us form a bond.

* The Commissary!! Great prices on groceries! I’ve also been impressed at the number of organic and gluten free products they offer at awesome low prices, which saves me from making the hour long trip to the nearest Whole Foods.

* I LOVE my neighbors and am having so much fun with them!  God has truly blessed us with our home.  Not only was it available almost right away when we moved here (saving us from having to move twice or being on a long waiting list), but we live right next to some amazing people.  Our next door neighbor and the ones next to them are great friends of mine now.  Our kids all play together almost daily, while us mommies get to chat with each other.  We share lots of laughs together!  We also share food – when one of us cooks something new, we often take samples of it over to the other two to try.  We borrow things from each other – a steam cleaner, a vaporizer, foil, mayo – whatever!  I love it! I have never had neighbors I could do this with and it’s so fun.  Sometimes I’ll step out to take the trash out, see one of them, and end up talking for 30 minutes.  It’s great! 

* Our FRG (Family Readiness Group) rocks!! Seriously.  I wasn’t sure because before I got here I had read very good and very bad stories about FRGs.  But, I was determined to jump in and volunteer because I figured you can’t complain if you don’t try to help 🙂  Turns out we have a great leader who works hard to keep us all in the loop, and even plans fun things for us to do.  So, if you are not sure about whether or not to get involved with your FRG – give it a chance!! At each and every duty station, even if you had a bad experience before.  Try it again.

* Living on post – I love it! It’s like a little city of its own.  We have grocery stores, a PX (think mini-Walmart), a Post Office, chapels, car repair, car washes, gyms, pools, running tracks, Starbucks (2 that I know of!), gas stations, bowling alleys, playgrounds, etc.  It’s also nice not having to pay rent, electric and water each month.  It all comes straight out of our check in the form of our Basic Housing Allowance.  No wondering what the electric bill will be this month – we pay the same every month.

* Lots of activities for adults and children!  There are endless options for getting involved in groups or classes to have fun and meet people. 

The BAD:

* Friends moving away.  I connected with an amazing woman almost immediately after moving here.  I met her through PWOC and it turned out she lived right down the street from me! She has a son that is Emily’s age and they hit it off right away too.  I knew right away we would be great friends.  Unfortunately our husbands never had the chance to meet because mine deployed, but I know they would have gotten along too.  But she just moved! All the way to another state.  I realize it’s a fact of life in the military and either we will move, or our friends will at some point, but it still stinks. I’m very thankful for the internet and I know we’ll keep in touch that way.  Plus, we’ll have a new place to visit.  

* Drama! Oh boy, the drama! Just like anywhere else in life, it’s out there.  You just have to do your best to avoid it, stay out of it, or don’t let it bother you.  It could suck the life out of you if you let it.

* Not being able to plan.  I’m a planner.  I like to know when things are going to happen and what path we are going to take to get there, but that gets thrown out the window in this life.  I’m learning to embrace the concept of the unknown and just be comforted knowing I don’t have to make the choice rather than let it stress me out.

The UGLY:

* Obviously the worst part is the deployments. I miss Hubby so much and can’t wait to have him back on my sofa, in my arms, snoozing away to NASCAR in the background.   It also stinks when my friends’ husbands have to leave and I know how much they are going to miss them.  

However, even during these times there is good to be found.  I have grown in some amazing ways, and proven to myself to be stronger than I thought.  It’s also great to be surrounded by people who “get it”, and that leads to those great friendships because we instantly have something in common.  It also makes my heart grow even fonder for my Love…my best friend…my Hubby! Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love him even more – I do!

All in all, it’s been a great ride so far and I look forward to seeing where the next year takes us.

Strong Bonds Retreat at Great Wolf Lodge

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This past weekend, Emily and I had the chance to attend a Strong Bonds retreat.  It was put on by the Army Chaplaincy and was specifically for spouses & children of deployed soldiers.  We were blessed with a free stay at the Great Wolf Lodge a couple hours away from Fort Bragg.  Our stay included dinner Friday, breakfast Saturday and Sunday, and lunch Saturday.  We didn’t even have to share our room with anyone! Of course the stay also included the waterpark during our free time, so that was an amazing bonus!  The only thing we had to pay for the entire time was for Emily to play the Magiquest game, but that was optional and completely our choice. 

The Army provided free childcare by licensed childcare providers while we attended sessions where we played ice breakers, chatted with friends, met new friends, and learned some great tips on communication with our spouse.

We had a great time!  Emily and I got to spend a lot of time hanging out with some great friends of ours, and we also had some fun time together just the two of us. 

If you ever get a chance to attend one of the Strong Bonds retreats (they also do them for single soldiers as well as for soldiers and their spouses), I highly recommend it!

Where were you?

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We pause today to remember the tragedy of 9/11 and to honor those who gave the ultimate sacrifice of their life that day.  I also think about those who have given their time, service, life or loved one in this war that we are still fighting.   I pray for their families.  That somehow they could find comfort in today.  That something today would bring them joy and a smile, even as they continue to grieve.  I pray for our troops that are currently overseas – especially my own husband, and I wish I could give him a huge hug and keep him close to me today. 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.  Psalm 119:114

I also thank God for the lives that were spared on that day.  The husband that took the day off work a day before he was supposed to.  I wish I could find them all now, but I read story after story about people who stayed home with a sick child, got stuck in traffic, or had other delays that kept them from being inside those towers on September 11, 2001.  Yes, the number of lives lost was devastating, but it could have been so much worse if it had happened even 1 hour later.  As humans, we will never understand why certain ones were spared and others weren’t but we can trust in God’s master plan and in His love for us.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

I remember the day clearly.  Hubby and I didn’t have any children yet, but I was at home because the company I worked for had gone bankrupt so I was out of a job.  I remember having the TV on and watching the morning news while I worked on the computer.  I saw the coverage of the plane hitting the North tower and was in shock!  Several thoughts ran through my head – “How does that happen?”, “Did they lose control of the plane?”, “Are the buildings full?”.  

I was still trying to make sense of it all, when I saw it. 

LIVE. 

The cameras were showing live coverage of the North tower so they caught the 2nd plane in action as it crashed into the South tower.

Then I knew.

It was no accident.

I was on the phone with Hubby immediately, and he came home from work.  I remember we sat for hours watching the coverage together.  We called our family to make sure they knew what was going on.  I also remember we finally took a break to drive a couple blocks to our favorite Chinese restaurant to get take-out.  We weren’t in the mood to cook that day.  Even as we stood in the lobby of the restaurant, they had a TV playing the news.  We chatted a bit with the manager of the restaurant as we were all in shock about what was going on.  What would happen next?  It was so hard to accept that this was really happening. 

I also remember saying many times to my Hubby, “I’m so proud of you for serving our country, but I’m glad you are not still in the Army”.  Little did I know God would have other plans in mind for us and would call us to just that.  God also prepared our hearts for it though, and I could not be any more proud of my husband or happy to be his Army wife. 

I remember the patriotism that rose up in the days following.  The American flags that were seen everywhere.  The perspective that it brought to our daily lives.  The grumbling and complaining seemed to die down for a while as people realized how small most of our problems really are in comparison. 

10 years later, it’s a day I’ll never forget.