It’s like being at the top of a huge hill on a rollercoaster.  As long as you are climbing up the hill, they can still pull the brake, stop the car, and you could get out if necessary.  But once that car goes over the hill and starts the downward ascent, there is no stopping it!

It’s official! I’m married to a soldier. I’m an Army wife now. I took the kids to watch Hubby’s swearing in ceremony today, and I’m so glad I did. It was a long day, but worth every minute. I think as long as I remember the Army motto of “Hurry up and wait”, I’ll be just fine.

Here is how the day went:

8:00 AM – The time Hubby had been told to have me there by to see the swearing in ceremony. I woke the kids up early to make sure I was there on time. After finding parking across the street, and getting through security, I made it up to MEPS with 5 minutes to spare.

Then we hung out with Hubby and waited….and waited…and waited.

10:30 AM – Someone said 20 or so more minutes till the ceremony. Then they served lunch to all the waiting applicants. So much for 20 minutes.

12:00 NOON – They called his group in to take the oath. It was short and sweet. They allowed us as family to go in and take pictures, even standing in the stage behind the guy giving the oath. I thought that was extra nice. I got a couple pictures, and I took a video of the swearing in. Unfortunately, for some reason my camera didn’t focus before it started recording. I think it was the extra bright light behind all the applicants. So, I have the video and you can hear what they are saying, but the people are a little (ok, a lot) out of focus. Oh well, at least I have something. Hubby said it was no big deal since he’s done it before. Sure, my it’s MY first time to see it!

After the oath, then it was time to wait again. This time for travel arrangements. He was going to be going on a bus, so they took care of all the people who needed to get on a plane first. A little harder to hold a plane if running late.

1:15 PM – Up until now, Hubby thought they were going to go downstairs to a bus station across the street somewhere before leaving. So when they announced for his group to go line up, Hubby came back and said “Meet me downstairs outside to say goodbye, but don’t go to the bus station”. So, I grabbed the kids and we went downstairs and outside.

I waited a few minutes, and then he called me asking where I was. I said I was downstairs. He said he told me to go outside. I told him I WAS outside…the same side I came in on. Turns out they were leaving on busses from THIS building, and they were not even on the same side of the building as I was. He said they were on the side of the building loading busses and about to leave. I started crying thinking I was going to miss it. He told me to calm down and just hurry. So, there I am, downtown…..running down the sidewalk on a major street pushing a stroller with one hand, and holding my 6 year old’s hand with my other as she’s running behind me! Thankfully the bus driver waited till we got there (just took a minute), and we all got hugs and kisses goodbye. I was able to give Hubby my letter that I had written for him and sealed in an envelope for him to read on the way out.

Then, I broke down, but held most of it inside so I didn’t scare Emily. As I got in our car, I was shaking and crying because it just wasn’t the goodbye I wanted, or thought we would get. I was also stressed from almost missing it. You know how your whole body shakes after almost missing a car wreck? That’s how I felt. I thought we would get to walk out together, calmly, and give hugs and kisses and say goodbye. I thought they would give the families time for that. Maybe to snap a couple pictures. I mean, I had 5 hours of hanging out waiting, you would think I would have taken more pictures…or ANY of Hubby and I together, but NOPE. I thought I would do that at the end. So I was mad at myself for not doing that. For not getting to tell Hubby once again how much I love him and all the things I’ve told him many times and that he already knows, but that I wanted to say again. What, did the Army think? That we said our goodbyes yesterday? That would have been smart, I guess.

Anyway, as I was driving, I was talking to myself and trying to talk myself out of this sadness.  “So what you didn’t get a long goodbye? You got to spend the last 6 hours with him.  You’ve got friends whose husbands are either deployed or about to be deployed.  There are going to be more times when you don’t get to talk to him when you want, or see him when you want, so you can’t dwell on this.” I really didn’t want to let this bug me.  I wanted to be stronger than that.  I AM stronger than that.  Maybe it was just because all I’d had for the past 6 hours was a cup of (bad) coffee.  “Ok, get home, get some food, have a cup of real coffee, and you’ll feel better.  God is watching over Hubby, so I don’t need to worry about him. Besides, Hubby is probably just fine with the shorter, less emotional goodbye.”

And then….Hubby sent me a text message telling me he loved me, and all my stress, anxiety, and sadness melted away! Just hearing from him one more time made it all better. Amazing how that works!

To top it off, Hubby sent me an email (which he had obviously planned ahead) telling me sweet things, and directing me to some pre-recorded videos he had made (2 for me, and 1 for Bug) on our home computer. I just about melted! I love that man so much, and I am so blessed that he is so sweet and thoughtful. It seriously made my day, and I know that re-reading the email and listening to that video will keep me going while he’s away.

So, now I’m ok. I’m tired after spending 6 hours at MEPS with the kids, but not quite as tired as Hubby is. He got to the hotel late last night (10:00 PM), then went for a run before bed. He was up again at 3:00 for another run before being picked up to go to his weigh in. He spent the rest of the day at MEPS going back and forth between sitting in hard chairs or doing paperwork. There was a room with a TV and sofas, but evidently if they caught you sleeping you got in trouble, so he stayed out of there. I saw several people sleeping, but didn’t get to witness the trouble part. We did overhear one new recruit complaining about it being cold in there, and an retired Army vet telling him to “Suck it up!”. Seriously. Your life is about to get so much harder than dealing with a little too much air conditioning in Texas in August.

Here we go! We’re off to the start of what’s sure to be a wild ride. We’re excited to see where it takes us.

This is it! Hubby’s swearing in ceremony is this morning.  Then, he is off to the airport or bus station. We don’t know which yet. It’s ok, I figure it is one of many things we will know when we need to know. I’ll update more later after I’ve had one last goodbye with my love. We are excited! Here we go!

What will you do while Hubby is gone for 5 months? 

I’ve heard that question a lot lately.

Starting in a few days, I will spend the next 5 months without my best friend, my love, my Hubby.  He and I both agree that while we will miss each other tons, and we would choose to be together if we could, we might as well look at the silver lining too. So, while Hubby is gone, I’m planning to use my extra time in the evenings to do a few things.

* I will do some purging of our belongings and try to get rid of things that we don’t need to move with us, wherever we end up going.  I can’t pack anything because the Army will do all the packing for us when it’s time.  In fact, if I do pack it, they won’t insure it, so there’s extra motivation to leave it alone!

* Editing & purging photos. Thousands and thousands of pictures  Yea, I need to go through them.  I need to delete the extras, the bad shots, the ones I don’t want, and I need to organize them in a way that will allow me to actually FIND what I’m looking for.  Having them all in folders by the date I uploaded them is pretty useless most of the time.  I at least need them organized by month or season or something.

* Sewing.  I used to do a lot of this and have gotten away from it.  I have a list of projects I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, and I’m planning to make some time for it again.

* Keep working on my photography & Photoshop skills.  We’ve got a nice camera that one day we will get better lenses for, but until then, I have no excuse not to keep practicing with it.  I know how to do some editing with pictures, but would love to learn more about Photoshop since I know it does WAY more than I’ve dabbled in.  I don’t have any notions of doing photography as a business, but it’s something I’ve always truly loved doing, so I’d like to get even better at it.

* Of course, I will also continue to homeschool my daughter in Kindergarten and take her to various activities, playdates & field trips!

Hubby ships out in 8 days to start his re-enlistment training! It’s like being on a roller coaster ride at the top of the huge hill, and just tipping over the edge on the way down.  Here we gooooooooo!

Hubby had his last day at his previous job yesterday.  This next week our family is having a “staycation” in order to truly enjoy our last week together.  We plan to enjoy every moment, cherishing our time together, and looking forward to our upcoming adventure.

Today we spent the morning getting our family pictures taken by a good friend.  She is a talented photographer, and I can’t wait to see the pictures when she is done with them! Don’t worry, I’ll show you as soon as I can! We took the pictures at a local park that also has fountains coming up out of the ground, and a long “pool” about 2 feet deep that kids (or grownups!) can play in.  After being extremely cooperative during the photo shoot, Emily was rewarded with some free play in the water.

Tonight, we are headed to a party for a good friend who is also in the military.  He’s celebrating his birthday tonight, and also leaving soon to head out of town for some training.

Tomorrow, our family is blessed to have the chance to go to Great Wolf Lodge for a night! It’s a huge hotel in a nearby city with an entire waterpark inside the hotel!  My parents gave us this special gift so that our family can enjoy this time together. 

I’m not sure yet what the rest of the week holds, but I know that Hubby’s ship date will be here all too fast, yet not fast enough all at the same time.  I know that doesn’t make sense, but once you know something is just around the corner, you just want it to get here so you can move on to the next step.

#2. Is going back in the Army Rob’s dream job?

A. Not exactly.  He loves his country more than anyone I’ve ever known, but as much as he wants to serve, this is not his idea of a dream job at this stage in life.  That, my friends, would be living in the islands running a scuba diving shop, going out on the boat each day, and teaching people how to dive….with me by his side, of course.

Since before we got married, we knew that someday we wanted to own a dive shop together, preferably in the Caribbean islands.  We never knew when we could make it happen, but that was the dream.  The dream has not died, but we have surrendered it to the Lord.  If it is God’s will for us to do that someday, then we will.  But we’ve had to realize that this is just not the time for that.  The Lord has called us to other things (first Foster Care, then the Army) that just don’t allow for fantasy dreams like running off to the islands and buying a dive shop.  Maybe someday.  After all, he could retire in 13 years from the Army, and we’d still have plenty of life left.  But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

There is nothing wrong with chasing a dream.  However, we are teaching our daughter that obedience to God comes first.  If His dreams for us, match our dreams for us, then great….but often they don’t.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Emily came to her Daddy at some point not long after we told her what was happening, and they had this conversation:

E: “Do you want to go to the Army?”

Hubby: “Yes, I do”

E: “No, I mean, would you go to the Army if you could do anything you wanted and God didn’t tell you to do that? If He let you do whatever you wanted?”

Hubby: “Honestly, no..”

E: “What would you do”?”

Hubby: “ I would teach scuba all the time.”

What better lesson than for our little girl to know that Daddy is obeying God? Denying our own desires to serve Him.  She will see the blessings in that.

#3. He won’t have to go to the war, will he? / You know there is a war going on over there, don’t you?

A. Yes, he will almost certainly have to go to the war.  Unless something really big changes in the very near future, he will be going at some point.  They almost all do.  It’s his duty.  And I’ll let you in on a secret.  He *wants* to go.  He’s trained for it. He wants to serve his country.  He wants to help.  It’s like training for a big race, but not being able to compete.   No matter how hard that is for the rest of us to understand, these soldiers want to do their part.

#4.  Will you have to live in Iraq? / They are going to take him over there for 2 years and you’ll never see him! / You can’t take Emily “over there”!

A. No.  They will NOT move our family to Iraq.  We will be stationed somewhere either in the U.S. or one of the Army posts overseas (like Italy, or Germany). Our family will live on or near an Army post and have a home.  At some point, when he deploys, he would go away for about a year.  We would not go with him, nor could we even visit him – it’s a warzone.  We would communicate via email, phone, and webcam (The wonders of the internet!! So thankful to live in this decade!).

#5. Then where will you be living?

A. We don’t know yet.  Toward the end of his 5 months of training, he will get orders and find out where he will be stationed.  At that time, we will prepare to PCS (Permanent Change of Station….otherwise known as “move”) to our new home.

#6. What will you do while he’s gone? (He will be gone for 5 months training)

A. The same things I do when he’s here.  I will take care of the home, and the kids.  I will do laundry, dishes, cook meals, and homeschool my daughter.  We will go on field trips, nature walks, and maybe even some road trips to see friends.  Occasionally, we’ll stay up late watching movies and eating popcorn just for fun.  I will get more sewing and scrapbooking done in the evenings.

#7. How do you feel about this?

I’m excited about the adventure. I’m nervous about the unknowns. I’m proud of my husband. I’m dependent on the Lord to guide us.  You’ve heard it said many times that “it is what you make of it”, and I intend to make the best out of it. I know that my faith will grow through this journey.  It already has.  I’ll let you in on a secret about me….I’m a little bit of a control freak.  Oh, you already knew that? Well, at first it drove me crazy not knowing where we are going to live.  How can I research it? How can I look up what stores are there, what houses look like?  But you know what? The closer we get to this, and the more I realize how little chance I have at controlling any of it, the easier it’s becoming.  Now I’m actually looking forward to the surprise.  I know I have a lot to learn as I venture into the Army life, and I’m looking forward to it.

It is also absolutely critical for me to have a good attitude about all this.  Our daughter’s attitude about this will mimic my own.  If I complain about her Daddy being gone, then she will learn to resent that.  If I talk about how proud I am of him, how hard he’s working for us, and continue to be strong as I look at all the silver linings, then she will learn how to do that too.

Here we are…21 days away from being an Army family.   We’ve spent the last several months telling friends & family about our upcoming adventure.  Over & over we’ve heard some of the same questions, so I thought I would address them here.   Please post any additional questions you have, and I’ll be happy to answer them.

I’m starting with the big question, and in other posts, I’ll address others.

#1. Why are you going into the Army?

A. The simple answer is because God called us to.   I’ll expand on that a bit, though.

Let me back up a bit…about 3 years ago, we felt a pull to join the Army.  It just sorta came up one day, probably as we were once again discussing our desire to live somewhere else for a change.  See, Hubby had been in the Army before for 7 years, but had been out for about 10.  I had never been a part of his Army life, as I met him a couple years after he got out.  When he was in, he was able to live in other countries, while I’ve been “stuck” within the same 30 mile radius almost my whole life.  I’ve been itching to live elsewhere for ages.  As we considered it, we thought it would be a great way to see the world, maybe go to Italy (first for me, again for hubby).  However, this thought was short-lived.  Hubby looked into rejoining the unit he had been in before, but they were just about to deploy to the war.  That meant that even if Hubby got into that unit, which was stationed in Italy, there would not be time for us as a family to move to Italy before he’d be gone.  So, we passed on that idea.  I mean, no sense signing up for the Army to get to Italy, only to have him deploy right away, and leave me right here at home, right?

Or so we thought.

Last summer, this Army idea came back to us.  This time the message was much clearer.  And louder.  Hubby had just finished the book, “Wild at Heart” by John Eldridge, and I decided to read it too….to learn more about my man.  A book I recommend you stay away from if you like the comfortable rut you are living in, by the way.  Ha Ha!  You know, we make ourselves cozy in those ruts.  Seriously, it’s an incredible book that talks about how God made men for adventure, and we as wives are meant to support them, but we often stifle that desire because we want to keep them “safe”.   I’m sure none of you do that, but I know I was even uncomfortable when Hubby started riding a motorcycle to work, no matter how much money it was saving us in gas.  Yes, he wore a helmet.  He’s the safest driver I know.  But I was still worried.

As Hubby read this book, the subject of the Army came up again. We talked about the pros and cons.  We talked about the age cutoff for him to go back in.  We thought the cutoff was 38.  Hubby was closing in on that quickly.

Then, the next month, I was in the mountains of Tennessee in a cabin with some girlfriends for the weekend.  One of them is an Army wife.  I was sharing with her this crazy idea that we had in our heads,  I happened to mention that Hubby was just 2 weeks away from passing the age cutoff for rejoining.   It was so close that it wasn’t even possible for us to do this crazy thing, right?  She then informed me that the cutoff age was 42….not 38.

OH.

You mean, we have 4 YEARS to make this work?  It’s actually possible?

One of the days as I was having my quiet time out on the deck, overlooking our  breathtaking view, I knew.  I just knew.   This was where we were heading.  This was a big adventure that God had been preparing us for in many ways.  I told Hubby as much too.   I sent him a text message and said “God told me you need to go back in the Army”.  It was time for me to let him live the life that God prepared him to do, and stop keeping him “safe”.  After all, he doesn’t belong to me….he belongs to God.

I remember it clearly.  I felt God’s voice telling me loud and clear that I needed to support Hubby going back into the Army.  I felt it in my heart, and in the pit of my stomach, all at once.

So, once I got home, we prayed about it.  And prayed, and prayed.  We felt the Lord affirm this for us over and over again through scripture, as we read about Abraham leaving his family and country to obey God.  When Jesus tells the disciples to leave everything and follow Him.  When He tells them not to look back, but to trust Him and obey.

He also affirmed it for us through our conversations with each other.  One thing we’ve learned over the years is that when Hubby and I are on the same page and both feel we should do something that both of us are scared to do, or really don’t want to do….it means we should do it.

We felt a long time ago that God was calling us to do something where we could work with other couples, with families.  We’ve been incredibly blessed with a strong marriage that has survived many struggles, and we want to be able to share that with others.  This is an opportunity to make friendships and relationships with young couples just starting out, with moms raising their kids alone because Dad is deployed, with couples trying to make their marriage work through hard times, and hopefully to lend a hand however we can.

It’s also a chance to live in new places, see new things, go on adventures, and experience more of the world than we have.  Or at least more than I have…Hubby has seen a lot.

….and of course, it’s Hubby’s opportunity to serve our country again, something he is very passionate about.