We’re sure we’ve all heard plenty of statistics about the divorce rate in the United States. It sometimes feels like there are more divorces than there are marriages.
When we look back at our wedding and think about the couples who were there, less than 5 of them are still married. Most have divorced.
We both come from backgrounds where our parents divorced. Because of this, we decided from the outset that we would be different. We decided that we would break the chain of divorce in our family. So, we set the goal of “Not not getting divorced.”
Along the way, we began thinking about that goal though. We can look back at grandparents who didn’t get divorced, but had separate bedrooms and didn’t live as though they loved each other. We can see in older couples the commitment not to get divorced. They didn’t get divorced because it wasn’t socially acceptable. But is the commitment to not get divorced enough?
We don’t think so. We don’t think that being committed to not getting divorced is enough to establish a healthy and loving marriage. There must be something more, something better, something deeper.
Relationship. Marriage is about two people coming together to have a relationship. An intimate, personal, and permanent relationship. It’s about being best friends, confidants, lovers, and partners all rolled into one relationship and then sprinkled with compassion, trust, love, laughter, and selflessness.
Biblically, marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with His people. Christ’s relationship with His people is filled with love and is eternal. It is a relationship of Christ serving and loving us as we honor, love, and obey Him. (Eph 5:21-33)
So, our goal changed. We’re no longer only committed to not getting divorced, we’re also committed to having a great relationship. We’re committed to knowing each other better, more deeply. We’re committed to being best friends who enjoy spending time together. We’re committed to laughing together in the good times and crying together in the hard times. We’re committed to growing closer to God, together.
And of course, staying married until “death do we part”.
What is the goal of your marriage?
Make your goal to be committed to each other, and committed to your relationship.
