Men, this is a call to action! If someone attacked your wife, what would you do to protect her? What are you willing to do to keep her safe and unharmed?
I hope your protective mode just kicked in because you are going to need it.
Right now, as we speak, there is a very real spiritual battle going on – and your wife has a target on her back. When I say spiritual, I don’t mean imaginary. This is a very real battle waged by a very real enemy – the devil. The devil is powerful, relentless, and has an entire army behind him. He is attacking your wife’s thoughts, feelings, confidence, and security. He is attacking her with fears, doubts, guilt and shame. This enemy wants to beat her down and make her useless for the kingdom of God. He wants to ruin her marriage, her family, her job, and her friendships.
But his power is limited! If you are a follower of Jesus, then you have the power in you to protect her from this enemy by using your words, because you have the power of the Holy Spirit on your side.
Praying for your wife – calling out to the Lord Jesus on her behalf – is the most powerful weapon you can use to defend and protect her.
I know we often think women are the ones who use their words more, while we want to be men of action. It’s true that statistically women do speak many more words in a day than we do.
But your words matter. Praying for your wife IS action, and it is the best move you can make. It is your God-given responsibility.
The Bible tells us in Ephesians 5:25-26,
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”
One of the ways you can love your wife, is by defending her through prayer. Jesus prays to the Father for his followers, so if we are to love like Jesus, then we need to be praying men.
Let’s get some intel on our enemy as we look at 3 strategies from his playbook so that we can better know how to counterattack.
Enemy strategy #1 – He attacks her value and worth
Often women feel as though they do not live up to the standards of the world around them. Their families do not look like the “perfect” families they see on social media. Their bodies are not air-brushed like the flawless ads that fill their screens. The kids don’t behave perfectly, like everyone else’s kids in church. She’ll wonder if she’s good enough to get the promotion at work. She’ll question her choices as she tries to feed her family healthy foods on a budget. Is she working hard enough? Doing enough? Is she providing value to anyone?
Yes, all these things are running through the mind of your wife frequently. Hard to imagine, isn’t it? Our wives often feel that they are not good enough. Of course, all these pictures of perfection are not true, but the enemy will convince her that they are and will use those lies to destroy your wife’s value and worth in her mind. You might think that if she knows it’s not true, that it shouldn’t bother her. But the strength of the enemy here is that he is able to convince her it does matter, and that if she can’t live up to these impossible standards, she will lose her husband, her family, her job, her credibility, her friends. I’m telling you, he’s more powerful than we give him credit for.
But he is not as powerful as Jesus!
Your Action Plan:
Men, here is where you can make a difference. Step in and go to battle for your wife. Lift her up in your prayers to God. Pray that she would see her identity in Christ. That she would see the truth of who she is in Christ. That she would be reminded that no one is perfect, and that the “perfect” images we see on social media have been edited with lighting filters and have been skillfully cropped so as not to show the sink of dirty dishes or the piles of laundry waiting to be folded.
Pray that as Psalm 139:14 says, she would see that she is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Pray that her worth would be rooted in the fact that God knows her intimately and He has made her for a purpose in His kingdom. Pray for God’s protection from the forces of evil for her. Pray that the lies she hears constantly from the world would be repelled and replaced with the Word of God. Pray that His grace would be sufficient for her each day. (2 Cor 12:9)
Enemy strategy #2 – He attacks her sense of security and invokes fear
Women typically have an innate need for security. This security is often seen through the lenses of financial resources and a home. They are also constantly fed the lie that they need to be independent. They are told that they must have their own careers and their own bank accounts, so they can take care of themselves “just in case” their marriage doesn’t work out. They are told to root their security in stable jobs, bank accounts, and houses. This leads to an ongoing fear of “losing it all”.
Maybe you are thinking, “That’s not my wife”. Maybe she doesn’t struggle with not working outside of the home, and she loves to stay home and homeschool the kids. That’s great. But the enemy will use that mindset too. He will often convince these women that her husband’s job is not stable enough or doesn’t make enough money to provide. The idea that it’s completely up to the husband to provide is also a lie.
The truth is that only God provides.
Your Action Plan:
As men, we want to be the security for our wives, but that is not a responsibility that we can fulfill. That role belongs to Jesus. However, we can pray for our wives to fully trust in the Lord for all things.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Pray that her security would be established in Jesus as Lord and Savior rather than the world and what it says. Pray that she would trust in God’s provision and His direction for your lives. Pray that she would hear His truth as He leads you both through the twists and turns of life.
Pray that she would know God as Jehovah Jireh – “God who provides”, and that she would have faith that God will always provide for your needs, often in ways you could not even ask or imagine. (Eph 3:20)
Enemy strategy #3 – He weighs her down with guilt and shame
Many women suffer from ongoing guilt and shame over what they have done, things they’ve said, what they failed to do, or even what has been done to them. This heavy load can come from something minor or huge, something from five minutes ago or years ago, yet it replays in their mind over and over like it just happened. Sometimes the focus is on something she said – did she talk too much? Say the wrong thing? Or maybe she lost her temper at something dumb. Maybe she has bigger regrets over major decisions she’s made, or maybe the enemy is convincing her that something horrible that happened to her is her fault. This guilt and shame can be an overwhelming burden which overshadows the truth of a life in Christ. The enemy uses these moments from their past to convince them that they don’t deserve to be loved, accepted, or cherished, and he uses this to push many into depression. This burden keeps your wife from living the abundant life that Jesus offers her, full of joy and peace.
Your Action Plan:
Men, defend your wives. You have the power through the Holy Spirit to release her from this bondage. Pray that your wife would accept that she is redeemed in Christ. As a believer, ALL her sins are forgiven. She is a new person and God’s grace is new every day. Pray that she would accept that guilt is not from the Lord, but from the enemy. Her sins, her mistakes, and the sins of others against her are all covered by the blood of Jesus. Just as God covered the shame of Adam and Eve’s nakedness, He has covered her shame. Men, pray that your wife would see that she belongs to God and He has called her by name.
Isaiah 43:1 says, “But now, this is what the Lord says, he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
Bonus: Preventative Counterattack:
Men, you can go on the offensive against the enemy by setting aside some time to ask your wife how you can pray for her. Listen to her needs. Listen to the things that are weighing on her. Listen to her joys and her celebrations. Then pray for her according to her needs, her challenges, her joys, and her celebrations. Pray for the things that she asks you to pray for.
Bonus Action Plan:
Pray for the things she asks you to pray for.
Now, go defend your wife by praying to the Lord on her behalf. Don’t just pray for these once, but over and over. The enemy doesn’t give up easily, and neither should you. Make it a weekly habit to pray these things for her.
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- Pray that her identity would be rooted in Christ.
- Pray that her security would be established in Christ and His provision.
- Pray that she would accept that she is redeemed in Christ, and that she is loved and accepted by Him.
- Pray for the things she asks you to pray for.
I applaud you for being willing to go to battle for your wife. When you go to the Lord on her behalf, you are being the defender and protecter that God has called you to be. I hope this helps you know how to pray for her and that you grow closer to her in the process.
