Years ago, in a Sunday school class we had a lesson that focused on giving God our first and best, rather than offering Him the leftovers of our time, money, resources, and ourselves. During this discussion, we reminisced about how bakeries used to sell “yesterday’s bread” at a discount. Sometimes it was still ok, but many times it was stale and unappetizing. It was nothing compared to fresh, out of the oven bread.
In regard to tithing, God asked His people to give 10% of their first fruits – the best of the best. He didn’t want them to give “yesterday’s goat” – their sick, injured, or leftover animals. Just like we prefer fresh bread over yesterday’s bread, God wanted them to use the best animals for their sacrifices to Him.
We even had t-shirts made up with a goat on it to remind us of this. They were great conversation starters!
This idea remains as true today as it was during that lesson. God is paramount, He is worthy of the very best of our faith, love, worship, time, resources, and ourselves. And when we prioritize God, then He will ensure we can take care of everything else.
Our marriages and our families are part of the “everything else” that God will help us to care for. But just as we do not want to give God the leftovers, we do not want to give our marriages or our families the leftovers after work, school, hobbies, sports, and life. Don’t give your marriage or your family yesterday’s goat either. Give them your time and your focus. Give them yourself, rather than what’s left of you after everything else.
How do we do this? What does it look like?
Prioritizing your marriage and your family starts with communication and commitment. It starts with a husband and wife discussing family and individual desires and determining which desires become goals and priorities. Determine which are short-term goals and which are long-term goals. Is the 80-hour work week worth it for a season because it gives you flexibility to spend more time with the family in the long run? Or is your presence right now more important to your marriage or family than long-term financial goals? No matter what you determine as a couple is the right answer for your current season, be committed to each other and to your family.
Establish goals of spending quality time with your spouse and with your kids (together and individually). Schedule dates, outings, and vacations. Play games, share hobbies, sit and talk. Listen to your spouse’s and your kids’ dreams and aspirations. Share life together, rather than being roommates.
Intentionally worship God together as a couple and as a family. Pray together, discuss Scripture and your quiet times together. Check-in on one another, to see where you are reading and talk about what you are learning in God’s word. When you worship God together, you are prioritizing God foremost, while also emphasizing the importance of your marriage and family.
As a prior military family, we understand that there are seasons in which being together is not possible. There are seasons that your job or the needs of a new baby overwhelm your time. Because those seasons happen, you must be MORE in-tune with each other and communicate with each other. You must understand the needs of your spouse and your family, while also communicating your needs. You must work together to care for each other.
We understand that it isn’t always easy, but it is absolutely worth it. Make the commitment that your marriage and your family doesn’t get yesterday’s goat. Be present and available to them. Love them well and you will find that they will love you well.
And hey, why not schedule a date night and bake some fresh bread together? It’s fun and tasty!
