We know we’re going to step on some toes with this one, but it needs to be said.
Your money belongs to BOTH of you, together. The money the husband earns belongs to both of you. Any money the wife earns belongs to both of you.
As a married couple, you should have joint accounts. You should not have one account with “his” money and one with “her” money. This idea goes against what many secular financial advisors, lawyers, and parents may say. However, the entire thought process of separate accounts is based on one thing, DIVORCE. Separate accounts make it easier when couples divorce.
The major problem with this thinking is that divorce is not the reason we get married. We should not live our lives always keeping things separate, just in case this marriage doesn’t work out.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people before God. When we marry, the two become one.
God says in Gen 2:24 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
This means we’re one in everything, our goals, our dreams, our highs, our lows, and our finances.
Once, we read about a couple with separate finances who had a baby. Prior to the birth, they agreed she would have the child without pain management medications. But during the birth, things happened, and she decided she wanted the pain meds. This in turn increased the medical bill by thousands of dollars. Once everything was over, he expected her to pay for the increased cost, because he hadn’t agreed to it beforehand. What happens later when they don’t agree on something for the child?
It seems this man’s money was more important to him than his wife’s care and comfort during the birth of THEIR child.
When we think in terms of “his” and “hers”, we are living like roommates, rather than as a married couple.
We’re called to something better in our marriages. We’re called to love each other as Christ loves the Church. We’re called to be one with our spouse, wholly and completely.
Combining your income into joint accounts is about commitment, trust, fidelity, and honoring one another. There isn’t anything financially better about combining your money. The difference is relational. The difference is a physical and fiscal commitment to each other that you will be together “until death do us part.”
If you are married and have separate accounts, ask yourselves “Why?” Be honest with yourselves, and we bet your answer ultimately comes down to “just in case.”
No matter what your reason is, if you currently have separate finances, it’s time to make a change and truly be one with your husband/wife. Make the decision to live as God intended, sharing everything He gives you. You are a team.
Now, take the time to have the serious conversation, commit to each other, and combine your accounts and your bills. What’s his is hers and what’s hers is his. Kind of like the 3 Musketeers “All for one and one for all.”– there are 2 of you and God should always be the 3rd strand in the center, holding you both together.
When you take this step, you’ll find that your relationship will become deeper, stronger, and more intimate, because you are trusting each other more.
