Ladies, you have the power to change your marriage and your family for the better. As women, our words, moods, and attitudes usually set the tone for the entire household.
There’s a reason for the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”.
That is a big responsibility given how often our hormones change, don’t you think? You’re right, it is, but the rewards are even bigger. When we control our mouth, our words, and our facial expressions (you know the ones!), we can bring peace and joy into our marriage and our family.
Do you ever repeat yourself when talking to your husband or your kids? I know I do. When I repeat myself over and over (and again and again), it’s because I really want to make a point, and I want to make sure they get it. Sometimes I repeat myself because it seems like they just aren’t understanding what I’m saying.
God takes that approach with us too, and He often repeats Himself in Scripture because He knows we need to hear it multiple times for it to really sink in. When we see Him repeat Himself in scripture, we better take note and get serious.
Let’s see what the Bible has to say about this.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)
Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife. (Proverbs 21:9)
It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and irritating woman. (Proverbs 21:19)
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 25:24)
A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike. (Proverbs 27:15)
Rottenness. Nagging. Contentious. Irritating. Quarrelsome. Those are not words I want to describe me. God is repeating Himself and making a point here, ladies. We need to pay attention. God says that it would be better for a man to live out in the desert or on the corner of a rooftop than to live with a woman like this! It’s pretty bad when those options are better than being at home.
Who is this contentious woman? She is:
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- often looking for a fight, or turning things into an argument
- constantly nit-picking and pointing out where he messed up
- shaming her husband by making jokes about his faults and flaws
- pointing out how he should be better or do more
- making fun of him in public
- making jokes about mistakes he’s made
- frequently telling him what he “should” do
- treating him like a child or a roommate, instead of a husband
Do you recognize yourself in any of those descriptions? If so, it’s time to make a change.
Thankfully, God’s Word also tells us what to do instead.
When we give our lives to Christ, He gives us the Holy Spirit who is with us all the time. The same power of the Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, is in us and He is able and willing to change our thoughts, words and actions whenever we ask for help.
Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit,
for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)
When we are followers of Christ that we will bear much fruit – it’s a natural progression that happens when we surrender our lives to Him. Other people will see this fruit in our lives and know we are his disciples. Our husbands and families should be the first recipients of that fruit.
The Bible tells us that the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23) are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.
That means we should be spreading love, joy, and peace in our marriage and our homes. We should be patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled.
Are you letting God produce these fruits in your life in a way that is evident to those around you? Are you showing these fruits in your thoughts, words, and actions?
When we are intentional about loving our husbands with the fruit of the Spirit, and we consistently show him respect, we can completely change the atmosphere in our home and our marriage will thrive.
Thankfully, we don’t have to make these changes all on our own. We will fail over and over if we try to do this in our own strength.
In fact, Jesus tells us that “apart from me you can do nothing”, so we have to call on Him every single day to help us. And He always will if we ask with a sincere heart. When you mess up (and you will because we all do!), be willing to apologize quickly and try again. God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness are new every day.
Remember, God has placed you into your specific family for a purpose, and He wants to love them through you.
An excellent wife, who can find her?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
(Proverbs 31:10-12)
